"The all ate and were satisfied." Mk 6:43
Knowing who you are and to whom you belong is a foundational first step on the road to spiritual health. Every adult believer has struggled mightily at times with their identity as Christians and Catholics. Sometimes it is a particular belief or practice that makes us uncomfortable or leaves us full of doubt, and this is especially true when we are struggling with other issues in our life. When a marriage collapses or a parent nears death, we can wrestle with the teaching of the church or its beliefs and practices. Why can't I remarry, some ask? Doesn't God want me to be happy? Or why is my mother suffering so? Doesn't God care?
It is at times like this that that we need to remember that God wants to feed us, but we must present ourselves to him as hungry. When we are able to remember that God is in love with us, and is our companion through every dark forest or imposing mountain climb, we are able to put aside the particular stumbling blocks along the way and eat the food he offers us. Even Jesus, as he neared his death, asks his father to lift his burden and let his disciples to pray with him. That his father allowed him to die a terrible death and his apostles fell asleep was immensely painful, but did not distract him from his mission. We may not always know exactly where we are going or what we are to do when we get there, but when we remember that God is like a mother who holds us in the palm of her hand and will never abandon us, we are comforted.
If we remember that to ask God for help everyday, not just when we are need, God will give us the faith to live with the questions and burdens which have no easy answer. That God is with us in the middle of the doubt, fear and anger is the promise upon which we rely. God is here. God lives within us and among us. God is enough.
Today, ask God to help you live with the questions you face.