You are an obstacle to me

Forgive me for being late with this post.  Hurricanes stop everything in their path and without electricity for the last couple of days there was little I could do. Right now I am  sitting in a McDonald's, using their free WiFi.

"Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do."

Peter is one of my favorite gospel figures.  Anxious to help, sure of himself and committed to following the Lord, his impulsiveness often gets the best of him.  In last Sunday’s gospel, he quickly answers Jesus' inquiry: Who do you say that  am?  The Christ, Peter says, the Messiah.  Unfortunately, while Peter's answer is correct, his understanding is lacking.  He wants Jesus to be a kind of military leader who drives the Romans out of Jerusalem and reclaims the Holy City for the chosen people.  More, if Jesus is an earthly king, he probably thinks that his own position as a disciple will afford him enhanced status among his peers.  

In today's gospel, Peter stands up again for the Lord as a defender and protector, but this time the Lord’s response is harsh.  “Get behind me, Satan. You are an obstacle to me.”  Although I have often prayed not to be an obstacle for others, especially to their faith life and journey,  I know that my quick tongue and harsh judgments have often hurt others.

That is why I think it is so very important to develop simple practices to accept our faults and address our  anxieties. Rather than strike out verbally, we need to work for reconciliation and healing.  My parents suggested a way to do this when  they told me never to make important decisions quickly, to sleep on them and if possible to wait a week or more before acting. Later, a 12 step friend told me: Things that are are urgent are rarely important, and things that are important are rarely urgent. Had I listened more closely to my parents and friend, I might have saved myself and others unnecessary hurt.

In the light of Peter’s foolishness in wanting to defend Jesus (and perhaps your own), try developing the practice of counting to five when you are startled or upset before saying anything.  A friar I admire a great deal used this technique to overcame a lifelong habit of reacting angrily whenever he was upset.  He knew that if he could pause even for a few seconds he would catch himself before he said things he would soon regret.  And it worked.  Today you would think of him as the mildest of people, but he knows his own history of angry retorts. You might also want to consider a second practice. Offer a prayer of gratitude each time the practice of counting to five saves you embarrassment and your companions hurt.

There is always something in the gospel that can change our life. Today, try reading the scriptures not for insight but for transformation.  The Lord wants to change our lives, but we have to open ourselves to his power and love.

St. Monica

“We were alone, conferring very intimately. Forgetting what lay in the past, and stretching out to what was ahead.” Confessions (Book 9, Chapter 10, vs. 23)

St Augustine’s Confessions always read to me like they were written last week or last year. Somehow his style and insight is always new, fresh and lively.  The passage we read today in the Office of Readings is both consoling and challenging.  Alone with his mother Monica, who knew she was near death; both Augustine and Monica exhibit a powerful Christian attitude. They want to put the past aside in order to focus on the future and its possibilities.  

And there was much in the past about which Monica and Augustine had to let go. Though raised as a Christian, Augustine got caught up with the Manicheans, a dualistic sect whose emphasis on wisdom rather than authority as a path to truth attracted him. At the same time, and by his own account, because he was so determined to impress his friends with his sexual exploits, Augustine did not exhibit much wisdom. He lived with a woman for thirteen years, who sadly is never named, and fathered a son with her.  

It was the thirteen years of her son's turning away from the practice of faith and his hedonistic lifestyle that gave Monica such heartache and caused her to pray so desperately for him. While it is to Augustine’s credit that he acknowledges the power of his mother’s prayers, it is Monica herself that we want to celebrate today.  Monica’s compassion and yearning for God do not allow her to blame her son, to berate him for his infidelity to the church, or to attack him for the hurt he caused her. Rather, she forgives and lets go of the past in order that both of them can go forward, she praising God in heaven, Augustine to fame as a bishop and renowned preacher.

What a witness Monica is for us today.  If there is anyone who, as our twelve step friends remind us, is "living in your head rent free," let go and pray for the strength to move forward with your own life.  Jesus refused to focus on his abandonment by his disciples, and begs his father with his last breath to forgive those who have tortured and killed him.  Monica, as Augustine so beautifully acknowledges in his Confessions, does the same thing.  She speaks intimately with her son, not about the past, but about what was ahead.  We would do well to follow her example.

Stay awake. (2)

"Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep." (Mt 25:5)

Today’s gospel has a very consoling verse for people like me and many older people.  Matthew writes that  the ten virgins "all became drowsy and fell asleep.”  Since I am an early to bed person, the thought of staying up very late waiting for “the bridegroom” to arrive and then dragging myself to a wedding banquet is not something I would look forward to.  Clearly the issue in this parable is not falling asleep; we all do that when we are tired.  Rather, the Lord wants us to be prepared with enough oil for our lamps to accompany the bridegroom  to the banquet whenever he arrives.

Being ready to serve God at all times is a constant theme of Matthew’s gospel, especially in its final chapters. Jesus, as he did in yesterday’s gospel, reminds us to stay awake, to be alert, and today he uses the parable of the ten virgins as a reminder for us to be prepared to meet the Lord every day, not just as a preparation for death, but in order to live the gospel fully.

Nevertheless, being prepared for the Lord, especially when we are tired and anxious, can be tedious and boring. It means doing the same thing day after day, often with little consolation. Perhaps that is why Rabbi David Kimchi, a late 12^th century Jewish scholar, recorded this lovely story about the great sage, Rabbi Eliezer. "Turn to God one day before your death." Rabbi Eliezer said. But his disciples responded, "How can a man know the day of his death?" Eliezer answered them, "Therefore you should turn to God today, perhaps you may die tomorrow; thus every day will be employed in returning."  Kimchi on Isaiah 65:13.

Turning to God today in prayer and gratitude for all the gifts of creation and faith is one way we store “oil” so that even when we fall asleep, we will ready to greet the Lord with light and joy whenever he comes.  Mahatma Ghandi was reputed to have said, “If you do not find God in the next person you meet, it is a waste of time looking further.”  When we pray fervently and school ourselves in gratitude, we can be sure that we will recognize the Christ in every person, even our enemies.

Though the challenge of always being prepared can seem daunting, even overwhelming, we should not be afraid. Though all of us will regularly fail at living a full gospel life, if we have prepared ourselves for the inevitable breakdowns in our commitment, God will be waiting to greet us when we wake up again.  Pray and be grateful each day for the gift of faith.  Christ will do the rest.

Stay awake.

Staying awake and staying alert is often difficult.  We get cluttered with so many things to do, so many people to see, so much to read or write, that we seem always to be multitasking.  While some people will want to convince you that multitasking is a skill we all need to learn, I am not so sure it is a good and healthy practice for our spirits. 

For years I found myself coming to the end of the day, mostly satisfied, but very tired, and unable to tell you much about who I had seen, what I had done or more important, what and who I had missed.  A wise friend of mine, Fr. Bill Quirk, (RIP) long ago told me that if I was not having three epiphanies a day I should not be preaching.  At first, I thought Bill was teasing me, but after a moment I knew he was serious, and I knew that if I didn't slow down and pay more attention to everything and everyone around me as a gift from God,  my preaching would be shallow. 

Still I resisted Bill's advice. For years I claimed that because I was brought up in a city I didn’t have much of an appreciation for nature, but in truth I was more concerned with getting things done then having a contemplative spirit,  making me was fast sleep to God’s grandeur all around me.

Recently, while on retreat, I learned again about how important it is to “stay awake,” and pay attention.  In the first day or so of my retreat, as I entered more deeply into the silence, a quiet peace came over me.  The more quiet I became, internally and externally, the more alert I became to everything around me.  Each evening, because it was so hot and humid, I would take a walk in the neighborhood of the convent where I was making my retreat.  On each succeeding walk I noticed that I saw more, heard more, wondered more about everything and everyone I was passing.  While usually I try to power walk for some exercise, I was strolling, smelling the summer flowers, remembering my childhood neighborhood and simply enjoying the act of walking, and listening and seeing.  While I know that a retreat is a privileged time that we usually can’t replicate at home, slowing down and breathing deeply was the first step in staying awake for me. More, the silence fired my imagination and filled my spirit.

Are you rushing so fast and furiously that you are missing life in all its glory?  Are you pushing forward in order to avoid a painful situation in your life?  There’s a wonderful song by Chuck Girard that you might want to listen to today just for the delight of it. Click here to listen. (Slow down)

By the way, please feel free to comment on any of these posts.  Several of you have written directly to me about your insights.  Please feel free to share them with everyone by commenting on the blog itself.