"I say to myself, I will not mention G-d, I will speak in his name no more. But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it." Jer 20:9
It was hard to be a prophet in the ancient world, and it still is. Speaking God's word clearly and without equivocation is a challenge that we often try to resist, especially when it is costly, but until we pay attention to the fire burning in our hearts, God will keep knocking at the door of our heart.
So many of the saints speak about the impossibility of ignoring God or dismissing God's call to transformation. St Augustine literally ran from his mother who was imploring him to listen to the God who was calling him to an authentic faith life, and St Francis avoided lepers at every turn until God intervened and changed his life. St Ignatius Loyola tried to distract himself by daydreaming about his past success as a Romeo only to finally hear God's voice calling him to transform his fantasies into faith.
God will never stop trying to win the battle for our hearts. We can try to banish thoughts of God from our consciousness, and for a time succeed, but if we are true to ourselves, God will always win. Praying not to be afraid of what God wants from us or where God wants to lead us is the only path to authentic freedom.
Today, ask God to let you return to God's path for you without fear.
What happens when you try to resist the fire of God's love burning in your heart?