The Dullness of the Apostles

"He got into the boat with them and the wind died down. They were completely astounded. They had not understood the incident of the loaves. On the contrary, their hearts were hardened." Mk 6: 51-52

The world often gets very small when we are struggling. A friend who ran in the NYC marathon told me she could think of nothing but the finish line for the last few miles of the race. Suffering from hypothermia, she ignored her body's signals to stop. Her goal was in reach and she could not let it go. Similar things happen to all of us. Exhausted by working in the hot summer sun, we often keep pushing to finish whatever project we are working on and find ourselves too tired to enjoy what we have accomplished.

Danger also makes the world small. When the disciples found themselves struggling to row against the wind in the middle of the night, they did not recognize Jesus coming to them across the sea. Consumed by their fear, that had forgotten the miracle of the loaves and fish which they had just witnessed. Clearly hoping that Jesus show of power was a sign that he would soon lead them into Jerusalem and rid their holy city of the Romans, they failed to understand his message. In fact, the text suggests, their "hearts were hardened."

How often when we are stressed we forget that Jesus is always with us. Determined to work through whatever problem is in front of us, we are like people trying to push back the tide or the waves of an ocean. Our independence or our personal goals become more important than our faith, and when we fail, we complain to God and sometimes even doubt God's existence. Although the Gospel continually assures us that the Lord is always near, when life gets dark, we fall into old patterns of self reliance and howl against the night when all we need to do is stop, rest and let the night play itself out.

Today, ask for the grace to walk with God no matter how slowly God seems to be moving.

Did anyone teach you to slow down in order to find God in every situation?